A handful of Twitter inspired jokes:

I’ve been thinking about Tweeting to someone in jail, but the sentence was too long.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to retweet it.

I used to like to think of something really stupid to say and then not say it; then along came Twitter.

Watch what you eat AND watch what you say; as with food, you are what you tweet.

After ‘M’onday and ‘T’uesday all you’re left with is ‘WTF’.

LMAO… damn, now where am I going to sit?

Some tweeters have a way with words, others don’t not have none.

“Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter” ~ “Sorry, I don’t follow you”

Twitter’s great; I neither put on weight nor feel uncomfortable when I’ve had too much Tweet.

I was going to tweet about anticlimaxes, but then I didn’t.

My canary has stopped chirping. Please retweet.

 

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